Editor’s note: Today The Mount Airy News concludes a two-part series from a workshop on suicide presented Tuesday at a local church. The first article addressed causes and symptoms of suicide and today the focus is on prevention.
When trying to save the life of someone contemplating suicide, people in a position to help should compare their intervention to performing cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR) on a heart attack victim.
In expounding on that analogy during a suicide-prevention workshop this week at First Presbyterian Church in Mount Airy, program leader Russell Crabtree painted a rescue scenario one might encounter at a shopping mall or on a busy street:
• A person clutches his or her chest and collapses, leading to an excited shout from an onlooker of “does anybody know CPR?”
• As is frequently the case, someone will run up, apply chest compressions and other skills they might have learned in a Red Cross class.
• The victim is saved or least stabilized until paramedics arrive, thanks to the efforts of the individual who applied the lifesaving technique.
“Does that make the person a doctor?” Crabtree asked in driving home his point that someone needn’t be a mental health professional or otherwise highly trained to save the life of a person on the brink of suicide — but simply care.
“We’re trying to give you CPR skills for suicidal desperation,” Crabtree told an audience that included about 25 church representatives, counselors, nurses and others in the community.
One of his goals with Tuesday’s workshop, said Crabtree — who holds a master of divinity degree and represents Soul Shop, an initiative of the Pittsburgh Pastoral Institute — is having those skills spread to others in local congregations and throughout the community.
“For people of faith, this is God’s calling,” added the suicide-prevention expert, who was appearing here under the auspices of CareNet Counseling in Winston-Salem, which has a branch on West Lebanon Street in Mount Airy.
Crabtree was speaking not as an academic from a lofty perch, but with the perspective of a person who has been suicidal himself.
“I struggled as much as anyone,” said the would-be suicide victim who overcame his problem and now leads faith-based workshops at various locations, including four this month in North Carolina.
‘Toolbox’ a key
The centerpiece of the Soul Shop program advanced by Crabtree Tuesday goes by the acronym C.A.L.L., which he explained stands for four parts of a suicide-prevention toolbox. It can be employed to help someone exhibiting signs of suicide, perhaps triggered by a personal loss or trauma that might cause them to become depressed or isolated.
Those letters represent “commit,” “ask,” “listen” and “lead.”
The commit part of that equation theoretically relates to each individual making a personal commitment to reach out to others if they begin having suicidal thoughts. Tell someone who can help, and don’t mince words in stressing that suicide is a likely option.
“We want to train our people to say it just that clearly,” Crabtree said of those in a church or the community at large, “and be just that direct.”
Such a commitment for possible suicidal tendencies can be part of a person’s overall religious experience.
“We make all kinds of promises to the church,” Crabtree said of actions by members, but “they don’t mean anything if they’re not alive.”
He conceded that the commit tool is based on an assumption that might not play out in reality. “Is everybody going to be able to keep that commitment? No,” said Crabtree, which can be due to a variety of reasons.
When he was suicidal, the workshop leader said he relied on a support group of two or three people he always felt comfortable calling — “because not everybody is going to understand.”
Just ask
Given that suicidal individuals might not reach out for help on their own, it’s up to others around them to make the first step — which also can be a challenge.
“What makes it so difficult to ask somebody if they’re thinking about suicide?” Crabtree said Tuesday to audience members. Among the list of answers attendees supplied is that this can be insulting to someone, particularly if they’re not contemplating suicide, or considered rude.
Another reason is that such a question can plant the idea of suicide in someone’s mind if they weren’t already considering that as an option for dealing with depression or a severe setback.
Yet the suicide expert said the question needs to be posed, even if there is a chance it will cause hurt feelings.
“There are some things worth having people angry at you over, and this is one of them,” Crabtree said.
A direct question needs to be asked all the same, he added, saying it is important for concerned individuals to let suicidal people know they “care and are not afraid to talk about suicide” if needed.
“As soon as someone gives you an indication they are contemplating suicide, ask them in a way that is clear and compassionate.”
Crabtree suggested this terminology when communicating with a person appearing to be struggling with some personal crisis:
“Sometimes people who are going through what you are think about suicide. Does it ever get so bad that you start thinking of suicide?”
Be a good listener
If the answer to that question is yes, then the conversation must shift from speaking to listening, which Crabtree says also can be hard to do.
One tip he offered in getting troubled individuals to talk involves asking “open-ended questions” — those that can’t be fielded with a simple yes or no answer.
In the latter scenario, “who’s doing all the talking? I am,” Crabtree said.
“For one reason, I want to have time to think,” he said with a chuckle of the need to get the would-be suicide victim engaged.
“They’re the ones that need to be talking,” Crabtree continued. “This is not going to be a three-sentence conversation.”
Being a good listener to a troubled person could be all that’s required.
“Sometimes people talk themselves out of suicide if somebody is really listening,” Crabtree observed.
Lead to safety
It is unrealistic to think that a suicidal person’s problems can be solved with a 15-minute conversation.
Again, Crabtree reminded, the goal — similar to CPR — is to try to keep such individuals safe so they can be aided by community resources in place to do so, and basically left in good hands.
This might include asking the person to give up any pills they might have or even their car keys, as part of removing the means for someone to take his or her own life.
It also is not out of line to ask such individuals if they have a gun.
“If there is a firearm to be recovered, ask them to call a relative or a friend,” Crabtree suggested. “Call the police at the last resort — the last resort.”
At this point, the key is to connect the potential victim to the right resources.
For emergency situations locally, Crisis Control can be called at 1-888-235-4671, or someone can dial 911. There also is a National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255.
In non-emergencies, mental health agencies or community support groups can be consulted for assistance.
Tom Joyce may be reached at 336-415-4693 or on Twitter @Me_Reporter.
Suicide-prevention expert Russell Crabtree offers tools for doing that during a workshop in Mount Airy this week.